Intentions, Not Resolutions
Happy New Year! I love it that my blog happened to fall both on Christmas and on New Year’s day. What wonderful days to celebrate.
Before any New Year’s Resolutions get locked in, I’d like to suggest trying New Year’s Intentions this year. This seemingly small change in semantics may make a big difference in how you feel about the goals you set in the coming weeks and months.
A resolution is making a firm, decision, or commitment to do something. It’s black or white. You either pass or you fail.
Setting a New Year’s Intention gives you goals to work towards, but gives some space to grow and shift as necessary. This kinder, gentler approach may make a difference in accomplishing what you set out to do, because it takes much of the shame and hard pressure out of it.
Here’s an example:
If you resolved to go to the gym 3 times a week for the whole year, but skipped a week or two, you might be tempted to give up on the resolution altogether, since you might feel like you ‘failed’. (I don’t truly believe in failure, but this illustrates the point.)
But let’s say you set an intention to create a healthy and strong body. As part of that, you set a goal for going to the gym 3 times a week. You can check in with yourself from time to time and see how it’s going. But if you realize sometime in March that you haven’t met that goal, you can reassess. Maybe you’ve been going to yoga twice a week, hiking once a week, and have started doing floor exercises and stretching regularly at home. That could be exactly what you need. Or, perhaps you haven't been inspired to go to the gym so you try an exercise method that works better. But there is no failing. Remember, progress, not perfection.
Now, this isn’t to say that you can’t have specific, concrete goals in your intentions. For instance, you may wish to intend that you’ll meet the love of your life this year! That’s awesome! I highly recommend setting that as an intention. The great thing about intentions is that it keeps you moving forward. This will keep you on track and you WILL make very significant progress! You will have much better relationship success if you are setting high intentions for yourself and doing the personal growth work. Just try not to get too stuck in the pass/fail aspect of any goals. Every step that doesn’t work out is just an opportunity to make an adjustment.
I prefer to set New Year’s Intentions that evoke a great feeling tone. (Cause you know, I’m ALL about the feeling tone!).
Here are some possible New Year’s intentions:
Meet your soulmate
Learn to walk in the world as someone who is in a happy relationship now
Fall more in love with yourself, with noticeable results
Have more joy in your life
Bring love to more people (which, coincidentally, brings you more joy!)
Be of service a certain number of times for the year
Be generous and kind
Expand your awareness with new books or classes
Learn something new about relationships every week or month (what we focus on EXPANDS!)
Create loving community around you
Become great at noticing the little and big wins every day
Take on a new, no pressure hobby, just for the fun of it (I started learning piano for the first time a few years ago)
There are endless possibilities! This is a wonderful time to use your creativity to come up with intentions that really inspire you.
I would love to hear from you. In the comments below, or by emailing me directly, tell me one intention you would like to set for the New Year. I hold all of your intentions in my heart and will be thrilled to hear how they unfold in the coming months.
I wish you a bright and blessed new year filled with all of the love and joy your heart can muster.
Love and light,
Catherine