Here's How to Enjoy the Holidays While Single
The holidays are, it seems for many, a mixed bag of emotions. It can bring up happy traditions and painful memories all at the same time. The extreme busyness can add anxiety, and there can be an unrealistic expectation that we should be happy all season. Add to that, if you are single, and it’s not your first choice, you may feel extra societal and/or internal pressure this time of year. I definitely understand. With the right planning, however, you can spend less time stressing and more time enjoying the holidays.Here are some suggestions:
Take some time to connect with people you love and that help you feel happy. Make this a priority. If you don’t see them often, make a specific plan to spend some quality time. If you enjoy holiday activities, try to do something together that brings you holiday joy.
Acknowledge your feelings. What do you love about the holidays? What has you feel sad or stresses you out?
Have a game plan to deal with predictably stressful situations. If you have a relative that triggers you, do your best to avoid high-trigger topics. If they say something offensive, do your best to ignore them and change the subject. Engaging in conversations while triggered rarely makes a positive impact. If you someone in your life who asks questions that are too personal, try to think of quick answers or distractions that you feel comfortable with. Practice these conversations with a trusted friend. (As always, aim for progress, not perfection!)
Ask yourself, “What does the ideal holiday season with my soulmate look like? What are some things we would do together? What would it feel like to do that?” Really think about this, and journal some of your ideas. Now, try to think of creative way to incorporate a little bit of that feeling tone and experience into your life right now. For instance, if you like to go see holiday concerts, or go ice skating, or recreate some part of your childhood holiday traditions at home, grab a friend and do some of those activities. When you are doing this, imagine the feeling of your soulmate being there. Internally connect with them, and say “Hey, isn’t this going to be fun when we do this together!” If you long to sit by the fire or Christmas tree with your soulmate, take some time doing that while writing them a letter. Be creative and make a game out of this! Look for that feeling tone of being together wherever you can find it. When you feel that, even if it’s just a little bit, bask in it! Get in the habit of tuning into this feeling. Think of this as a signal calling out for your soulmate.
One of my simplest and favorite things to do during the holidays is lie by my Christmas tree and stare at the lights. When I was young, I used to crawl underneath the tree and stare up. Even in my most challenging childhood years (and I had some really challenging ones), I could do this for hours. It always brings me peace and joy, like a holiday meditation. I often thought about what the holidays would be like once I found my soulmate. I really looked forward to that. And as fate would have it, we went to see Christmas lights the night we first made a commitment to each other. He now enjoys the holiday lights, and really loves how excited I get when they come out each year.All that being said, remember that it’s okay (in fact, it’s important) to feel the full range of emotions this season may bring up. Remember to be gentle with yourself. Take time for self-care, and see what comes up when you journal. Oftentimes, the things that bring us the most stress and anxiety are the feelings we are avoiding. Giving our feelings space to be seen and heard is often enough to make us feel better. This is all a part of slowly building that bravery muscle, which will serve you greatly in every area of your life.As you shine your light and get grounded in self-love, you are laying a great foundation for that relationship that is on its way. I’m cheering you on with every step.I would love to hear from you. What are some ways you like to enjoy the holidays? How can you use them to feel into your soulmate relationship? Please leave a comment below.Love and light,Catherine